eatsnutsandkicksbutts | ETRAYA INBOX

What, the 'shirt flying open and also his hair is flowing in the breeze with saxophone music' part, or the 'falling for your best friend' part?

[ it's important to clarify! ]

Nah, I've had pretty terrible luck with dating so far. But I think that getting together with your friend probably takes out a lot of the emotional guesswork! You already know you love and trust each other, right? So...

[ she trails off, thinking of her own best friend back home, and deep inside Doreen's brain, a tiny, bisexual-coloured lightbulb flickers on for the first time. Fabian might think the line has gone dead for a moment, given how long this awkward pause lasts. Oh boy, if she makes it out of Etraya, she's gonna have a lot to think about. ]

... Um. Y-yeah! Friends are great, and so is smooching! Good job!

[ There's another pause, but much slighter this time. Fabian is no longer baffled, after all. No, he has instead realized something, which makes the slight pause much more likely to just be for dramatic effect.

Especially as he says: ]

Doreen.

[ Uh oh. That tone. It's a knowing tone! ]

Do you have a crush on your friend?

[ HELP, SHE'S GETTING READ TO DEATH BY A COOL TEEN!!

it's a good thing is an audio call, because Doreen's tail has poofed up like an agitated cat, and would be taking up half the screen otherwise ]

W-weren't we talking about your crush on your friend? Your super cool tall boyfriend who you're currently dating?

Doreen, you have a big, fat crush on your friend!

[ Now he sounds so gleeful. Fabian already started sounding a little like that a moment ago, but it sure is getting intense now. Because her avoidance just makes him want to push a little bit harder, seeing a great chance for fun.

And, you know, a chance for Doreen to speak her mind! Why shouldn't she get to speak about her crush, huh? ]

Tell me everything about it! Who is it? I will have to keep an eye out so I can set you two up on a date if they ever arrive here! [ NO ESCAPE NOW!! ]

Ohhhhh my godddddd.

[ she groans, long and drawn-out! is this what it feels like to have Shipping Enthusiasm fired back at you? Is this what people feel like when she starts excitedly talking about open shirts and saxophone music?! ]

Yes, okay, fine! Her name is Nancy, she's my best friend and roomie back home, she's literally the coolest person I know, she likes knitting and cats and tattoos, and she takes no guff from anybody! She's the best!

[ Yup, the glee is definitely continuing. Look, maybe Fabian is just glad that he's apparently not the only person ever to realize way belatedly that he actually had a crush on a person he's been around for forever now.

Though he's definitely just teasing on purpose as he asks: ]

So, was there saxophone music? Was her shirt open? Any hair flowing in the wind, Doreen? [ Don't dish it if you can't take it, girl!!! ]

[ HELP, KARMA HAS COME FOR HER ASS ]

Auuuuuuuuugh. No! No to all of the above! And she keeps her hair super short, so it doesn't flow in the wind, although it'd look pretty cool if it did! We were assigned roomies at college, she had a pet kitten with her even though we weren't supposed to have pets, and she said "following an unjust rule is itself unjust" and it was super badass!

Oh gods.

[ He sounds surprised, but still gleeful at the same time. The surprise of discovering these new facts, and the glee of knowing you can immediately use them against someone else to tease them with.. ]

Are you telling me you started crushing on her because she broke a rule? [ No wonder Doreen likes the Bad Kids, huh. ]

She broke a rule for a good reason! [ No wonder, indeed! ] Her cat is the best! Later that day she literally squared up against a bank robber and sassed him to his face, even though he had a gun and it was really dangerous!

But that's enough about me, Mr. Turnabout! What made you start crushing on your dude!

[ Wait, why is Doreen turning it back on him? Is she just trying to escape his perfectly valid questions or what? ]

...

[ There's a pause, as if Fabian can't answer right away, and then all of a sudden-- ]

I can't tell you that.

[ Yes, yes she is! ]

Aw, what! Why not! I just told you all of my deets!

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