eatsnutsandkicksbutts | ETRAYA INBOX

[ Does Fabian feel exhausted as hell, getting out on the other side of these months? Yes. But it's not like that's going to stop him from checking up on people he didn't have time to check up on in the middle of the chaos that was happening - and Doreen is definitely on that list. There's something about the way she stepped in for him during Moorecroft that sticks out in his mind enough for him to have to make sure she's alright.

So Doreen will find her earpiece letting her know someone is trying to contact her - and it's Fabian on the other side. ]

Hey. Are you-- Um, is everything alright? [ Though Fabian is trying to mask most of his fatigue, there's still a little bit of it in his voice as he speaks. ] I know it's been a wild few months.

Fabian?

[ Well, here's a surprise! Without most of her gang from home here, she hadn't really expected anyone to check up on her. This is... this is really sweet of him. Huh! ]

Yeah! Yeah, I'm good. Things got, uh... a little hairy there for a while, not gonna lie. [ There had been lots of undead squirrels, and nightmarish visions of Nancy and her parents being hurt by her superhero work, but we're not gonna talk about that right now! That's going in the vault! ]

... But, you know! Got through it in one piece, so I'm good. Super good. Everything is cool and fine and can be sorted out with therapy later, probably! How about you? You doin' ok?

Yeah. I'm fine.

[ Maybe not the most convincing thing in the world when he sounds kind of tired as he's saying it, but-- let's be real, it's not like Doreen opted to go for the most convincing method either. It's why Fabian is so brief about how he's feeling in the first place - he isn't so sure she's doing all that well, and he'd rather focus on her in this moment than think about his own mess. ]

Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I mean, not-- not therapy, obviously. [ Fabian is the absolute furthest thing from a therapist. And he'd never want to be like Jawbone. Please. He'd never survive that. ] But it's probably better than keeping all of that to yourself, right? Things got really messed up back there.

[ There is a long, telling silence on the other end of the line before Doreen finally gives him a sheepish response. ]

... Y'know, I was going to say something, but we literally just dealt with a whole 'don't suppress your bad feelings or store them in stuffed animals or they will figuratively and literally explode' situation a few weeks back, so I'm having a hard time arguing my point.

But! [ She claps! ] This supportive feelings jam is gonna go both ways, because the same goes for you, ok?

Okay.

[ ...

A slight pause. It almost seems like Fabian is giving in a little easy by his standards, huh? Maybe-- ]

But I'm fine. So. You know.

[ --okay, maybe he isn't giving in that easily after all. ]

So you can go first. You listened to me talk about Gilear before, so I want to listen to you now.

Of course! But, if you want to switch it up at any point, this is a safe, supportive feelings jam.

[ ... And now she actually has to talk about herself. Shoot. ]

Ssssssso. Yeah. This was typical superhero nightmare stuff? Undead squirrels mad at me for leading them into danger, friends and family getting hurt because of my superhero stuff, waking up in Australia, the works.

... Long story short, my life kinda blew up a while ago, and things were just starting to get fixed before I woke up here. Like, I'm good now, but that's the stuff my brain always goes back to when it's nightmare zone time. I just... I miss my pals, y'know?

I don't know. Undead squirrels also sound kind of freaky, you know. [ Especially when Fabian is deadly afraid of rats. Or, well, one particular kind of rat, actually. Squirrels don't come close enough to be freaky inherently, but still close enough that the idea of having to deal with undead squirrel nightmares is still pretty no bueno to Fabian!

But he gets that it's not the bigger problem. Especially when Doreen says that last part, tugging at Fabian's heartstrings. ]

But.. you're saying that none of your friends from back home are in this place?

[ at least they weren't sexy undead squirrels, thank god for that! ]

Well, uh... there were some people from my universe here, they were like work-friends, and I'm sure we could've become legit good pals in time, but I'm not sure if they're here anymore? That sorta counts!

[ There's an edge of determined, forced positivity in her voice. She's fine! Everything is fine! ]

[ ... ]

Oh.

[ That is distinctly the oh of someone realizing they just heard something really awkward and aren't entirely sure how to reply to it. Especially when Fabian is pretty sure the presence of Riz and Gorgug is just about the only thing that keeps him from fully snapping in this place.

And Doreen doesn't have that. She didn't have it all this time, even back when she was trying so hard to cheer him up back in Moorecroft.

... ]

Well-- [ Give him a second. For how much Fabian always yaps, he wants to make sure this is the good kind of yap. A yap that can help her, rather than make her feel bad. ]

At least you have me, right? We are friends! In fact-- We can do more things together, if you'd like! Especially to fill up the gap until some of your friends might happen to show up in this place!

[ There is a long, long pause on Doreen's end before she finally responds: ]

... Dude, if we were having this conversation in person, you would be getting such a huggin' right now. You are getting a bearhug later! Rain check on the hug!

For real though, thank you, that is super sweet. New friends are pretty great, too.

W-Wait, you want to hug me for that?

[ At least it's not really panic in his tone. Instead it's more just surprise, especially when he was already a little awkward a moment ago. It just makes the surprise hit him even harder now.

He's not used to people hugging him, okay! Maybe his papa after said papa's death, but-- That's his papa! It's different! ]

[ OH NO, DID SHE MAKE IT WEIRD AGAIN... this is just like the time she offered to arm-wrestle his mom! Rein it in, Doreen! ]

Unless that's not cool! Totally fine if it isn't, fistbumps or high-fives are a good option too!

No!

[ Maybe said a little bit too quickly. So quickly that it almost sounds kind of panicked, or maybe desperate, but Fabian is quick to reign it in. He has to be at least somewhat cool here, after all. ]

No, a hug is-- It's fine! I don't mind.

[ No, that's a lie. But Fabian wonders if telling the truth here is also a little bit too uncool..

.. he has thinks for a moment, and then admits, reluctantly but genuinely: ]

I like it, actually. You know, perhaps we could use both it. A hug, I mean. [ Admitting to your needs is embarrassing!! Ugh!! Kill him now!! ]

[ Doreen is so earnestly dorky that she has passed through Uncoolness and gone straight out to the other side, where the only person who gets to decide how cool you are is you! Give it a couple more years, Fabian, you'll get there. ]

... Yeah, I think so. Next time we run into each other, we're bringin' it in! The hug train is pulling into the station!

[ sometimes the dorkiness does overpower it though, NGL ]

[ This is dorky. So dorky. Incredibly dorky.

But Doreen has hit just the right notes with Fabian before, which means she can get away with it. It's a very exclusive position, Doreen, make sure to hold onto it! Especially since Fabian calls even his years long friends nerds sometimes..

Even though he does have to protest just a bit, sounding slightly embarrassed: ]

Does it have to be called a hug train?

[ listen, Doreen would take being called a nerd as a compliment! nerds are cool! ]

Choo choo!

... Nah, I kid. A hug is a hug, no matter what it's called! Although I guess a hug train would imply more than two people, so it's a bit off, semantically.

It's just-- It's better when it's not called a hug train, okay!

[ Don't try to intimidate him with that 'choo choo'!

... mostly because it'd actually work! There's nothing scarier to Fabian Seacaster than seeming uncool. (Or sexy rats.) ]

That makes it sound like I'm a little kid. Which I am most certainly not! I am a grown adult who just enjoys getting and giving encouragement to friends through hugs! [ Please, Fabian, you're barely 18.

And you act even younger than it. ]

Gotcha, gotcha! I concede your point, and you're right, hugs are great!

[ Man, Doreen remembers what it was like to be a teenager who's trying so damn hard to be cool, especially to adults! It felt like being a raw nerve, she does not miss those days. ]

[ Sorry, Doreen, but he has no idea where else to turn with these QUESTIONS!!

It means all this unhinged stuff is coming straight for you. Enjoy. ]

Hey, Doreen.

[ .. A-Awkward pause, he is-- HE STILL MENTALLY PREPARING HIMSELF, OKAY-- ]

I have a question. [ It sounds so weighty. So important. He sounds like he's at a job interview or something, if Fabian knew what those even are. ]

[ Doreen has somehow stumbled backwards into being considered a Responsible Adult, so when she gets this call, she squares her shoulders, takes a deep, fortifying breath, and prepares herself. She's gonna give good advice! She's gonna be approachable and easy to talk to!

... She really hopes that she doesn't have to talk Fabian out of slicing anyone's ding-dong off with his sword this time! ]

Oh yeah? What's up, Fabian?

Well, it's..

[ ..

A pause. It's not really characteristic for Fabian - except for when he's trying to talk about something actually serious that he doesn't know how to navigate all that well, as demonstrated before. This isn't quite that, but it seems to be something that's giving him a rather similar reaction. ]

Do you have-- uh. Do you have a boyfriend back home? [ Another pause, but Fabian is quickly hit by a realization that makes him add: ] Or-- You know, a girlfriend! A partner! Whatever! Sorry, I don't know what you're into..!

[ oh no oh no oH NO HERE COME THE KILL BILL SIRENS! this isn't the first time she's dealt with something like this, although to her credit, Doreen doesn't instantly go into panic mode. After all, Fabian seems like a genuinely good kid, and isn't likely to go full Nice Guy on her, or try to blackmail her into dating him by sinking Central Park into the ground or holding national monuments hostage like Mole Man did. No matter how this situation goes, it can't possibly be worse than the Mole Man incident. ]

Iiiiiii do not, but! I'm not looking for one either, and if this conversation is heading in the direction I think it's heading, I'm gonna cut you off there, because I'm very flattered and you're super cool and very sweet but I am way too old for you.

Edited 2025-01-17 03:36 (UTC)

What?

[ Confusion. ]

W-- What?!

[ More fluster this time, with some extra offense on the side. Seriously, Doreen, do you think he's some sort of baby? That's--

Wait, that's not the point at all! ]

No! No! Why did you think I was-- [ He sounds like a flustered mess, but it's more because of the surprise of the sudden twist she's throwing at him than her being onto something here.. ] I'm dating someone! I'm dating someone in this place!

[ Doreen is tactful enough not to say 'oh thank god' over the comms, but there is a palpable sense of relief! (Sorry buddy, she's had some REALLY bad dating experiences!)

... relief which is soon overtaken by GLEEFUL ENTHUSIASM ]

My bad, my bad! Sorry I misinterpreted that, but also heck yes, who's the lucky guy/gal/awesome person in question? Dish, dish!

Doreen!

[ That's definitely the tone of a teenager getting embarrassed by their family. Not that Doreen is his family or anything, but-- you know, the way he views her is similar enough that he can't help but let out that whine when she reacts like that.

Especially when he was being so vague on purpose to try and avoid having to dish! But he's pretty sure she won't let it go now.. ]

I mean-- Maybe you don't even know him! What is it going to matter then, huh? [ It's only a weak protest, however, since a second later Fabian is already spilling: ] It's Gorgug! You know-- One of my friends from back home?

[ TOO LATE, SHE HAS HER SHIPPING GOGGLES ON NOW!! She absolutely cannot keep the excitement or glee out of her voice! ]

Oh yeah! Big green guy, kinda soft-spoken, real good at making stuff? Excellent choice in dudes, A++, he's a total sweetie!

[ See, the problem with never having dated for real before - that thing with Aelwyn technically didn't count, considering it was over already before he could fully tell anyone about it, and it had been awkward as hell when they actually did tried getting together - is that Fabian never imagined the reactions? Not in this sort of way, anyway. So he isn't sure how to feel at all about that excitement in her tone.. ]

Y-Yeah. Of course he is! [ There's a bit of a huff about the way he speaks, like the way Fabian has decided to deal with this is by acting all pompous about it, even though he's feeling embarrassed and a little unsure of how to act.

So back to the default pompousness it is. ]

You don't think I would seriously consider dating anyone who is any less than perfect, do you? I have incredibly high standards! It's so happens that Gorgug is meeting all-- w-well, almost all of them!

[ Doreen is one of nature's hype men, especially when it comes to other people's relationships. She has also read a lot of cheesy romance novels, and these two things sometimes do not work well in combination!

But hey, by now she recognizes the pompous attitude for the fallback that it is, and her response is more than a little teasing: ]

Well, no wonder, if he's 'no less than perfect'! But for real, that's great, I'm really happy for you two! Is this a new thing, or is this a 'we were dating before but keeping it on the down-low, but we've been interdimensionally kidnapped so let's date for REAL' kinda thing?

No, it's-- It's a new thing.

[ It's definitely being said with a touch of something awkward. Mostly because-- ]

I mean, we have known each other for years at this point. We have been part of the same party ever since we both started at the Adventuring Academy. [ That part isn't too awkward yet. It's the next part. It definitely sounds like Fabian is having slight trouble breaching it, but then again, he does really trust Doreen. Maybe that's how he manages to say it after a second. ] .. I just didn't realize how attractive he was until some things happened here.

Lemme guess: was it one of those situations where you're hangin' out together, doing best friend things, and then suddenly there's a cool ocean breeze, and his hair is flowing in the wind, and then suddenly his shirt is open, and also there's saxophone music in the background, and you just go "OH DANG HE IS HANDSOME ACTUALLY"

[ she knows how these things go, Fabian! She has read so many romance novels! ]

[ ...

Fabian is so baffled about the scenario she's describing that he doesn't even have time to get awkward at the thought of just how bad Fabian's true realization about it was. Thankfully for him.

So he's quiet for a moment, and then speaks up, sounding clearly confused: ]

Did.. Did that ever happen before for you? [ Is this your experience with romance, Doreen?? ]

What, the 'shirt flying open and also his hair is flowing in the breeze with saxophone music' part, or the 'falling for your best friend' part?

[ it's important to clarify! ]

Nah, I've had pretty terrible luck with dating so far. But I think that getting together with your friend probably takes out a lot of the emotional guesswork! You already know you love and trust each other, right? So...

[ she trails off, thinking of her own best friend back home, and deep inside Doreen's brain, a tiny, bisexual-coloured lightbulb flickers on for the first time. Fabian might think the line has gone dead for a moment, given how long this awkward pause lasts. Oh boy, if she makes it out of Etraya, she's gonna have a lot to think about. ]

... Um. Y-yeah! Friends are great, and so is smooching! Good job!

[ There's another pause, but much slighter this time. Fabian is no longer baffled, after all. No, he has instead realized something, which makes the slight pause much more likely to just be for dramatic effect.

Especially as he says: ]

Doreen.

[ Uh oh. That tone. It's a knowing tone! ]

Do you have a crush on your friend?

[ HELP, SHE'S GETTING READ TO DEATH BY A COOL TEEN!!

it's a good thing is an audio call, because Doreen's tail has poofed up like an agitated cat, and would be taking up half the screen otherwise ]

W-weren't we talking about your crush on your friend? Your super cool tall boyfriend who you're currently dating?

Doreen, you have a big, fat crush on your friend!

[ Now he sounds so gleeful. Fabian already started sounding a little like that a moment ago, but it sure is getting intense now. Because her avoidance just makes him want to push a little bit harder, seeing a great chance for fun.

And, you know, a chance for Doreen to speak her mind! Why shouldn't she get to speak about her crush, huh? ]

Tell me everything about it! Who is it? I will have to keep an eye out so I can set you two up on a date if they ever arrive here! [ NO ESCAPE NOW!! ]

Ohhhhh my godddddd.

[ she groans, long and drawn-out! is this what it feels like to have Shipping Enthusiasm fired back at you? Is this what people feel like when she starts excitedly talking about open shirts and saxophone music?! ]

Yes, okay, fine! Her name is Nancy, she's my best friend and roomie back home, she's literally the coolest person I know, she likes knitting and cats and tattoos, and she takes no guff from anybody! She's the best!

[ Yup, the glee is definitely continuing. Look, maybe Fabian is just glad that he's apparently not the only person ever to realize way belatedly that he actually had a crush on a person he's been around for forever now.

Though he's definitely just teasing on purpose as he asks: ]

So, was there saxophone music? Was her shirt open? Any hair flowing in the wind, Doreen? [ Don't dish it if you can't take it, girl!!! ]

[ HELP, KARMA HAS COME FOR HER ASS ]

Auuuuuuuuugh. No! No to all of the above! And she keeps her hair super short, so it doesn't flow in the wind, although it'd look pretty cool if it did! We were assigned roomies at college, she had a pet kitten with her even though we weren't supposed to have pets, and she said "following an unjust rule is itself unjust" and it was super badass!

Oh gods.

[ He sounds surprised, but still gleeful at the same time. The surprise of discovering these new facts, and the glee of knowing you can immediately use them against someone else to tease them with.. ]

Are you telling me you started crushing on her because she broke a rule? [ No wonder Doreen likes the Bad Kids, huh. ]

She broke a rule for a good reason! [ No wonder, indeed! ] Her cat is the best! Later that day she literally squared up against a bank robber and sassed him to his face, even though he had a gun and it was really dangerous!

But that's enough about me, Mr. Turnabout! What made you start crushing on your dude!

[ Wait, why is Doreen turning it back on him? Is she just trying to escape his perfectly valid questions or what? ]

...

[ There's a pause, as if Fabian can't answer right away, and then all of a sudden-- ]

I can't tell you that.

[ Yes, yes she is! ]

Aw, what! Why not! I just told you all of my deets!

ETRAYA INBOX

a little bit after the september/october mission is over; voice!

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voice; un: MAXIMUMLEGEND

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