eatsnutsandkicksbutts | ETRAYA INBOX

[ TOO LATE, SHE HAS HER SHIPPING GOGGLES ON NOW!! She absolutely cannot keep the excitement or glee out of her voice! ]

Oh yeah! Big green guy, kinda soft-spoken, real good at making stuff? Excellent choice in dudes, A++, he's a total sweetie!

[ See, the problem with never having dated for real before - that thing with Aelwyn technically didn't count, considering it was over already before he could fully tell anyone about it, and it had been awkward as hell when they actually did tried getting together - is that Fabian never imagined the reactions? Not in this sort of way, anyway. So he isn't sure how to feel at all about that excitement in her tone.. ]

Y-Yeah. Of course he is! [ There's a bit of a huff about the way he speaks, like the way Fabian has decided to deal with this is by acting all pompous about it, even though he's feeling embarrassed and a little unsure of how to act.

So back to the default pompousness it is. ]

You don't think I would seriously consider dating anyone who is any less than perfect, do you? I have incredibly high standards! It's so happens that Gorgug is meeting all-- w-well, almost all of them!

[ Doreen is one of nature's hype men, especially when it comes to other people's relationships. She has also read a lot of cheesy romance novels, and these two things sometimes do not work well in combination!

But hey, by now she recognizes the pompous attitude for the fallback that it is, and her response is more than a little teasing: ]

Well, no wonder, if he's 'no less than perfect'! But for real, that's great, I'm really happy for you two! Is this a new thing, or is this a 'we were dating before but keeping it on the down-low, but we've been interdimensionally kidnapped so let's date for REAL' kinda thing?

No, it's-- It's a new thing.

[ It's definitely being said with a touch of something awkward. Mostly because-- ]

I mean, we have known each other for years at this point. We have been part of the same party ever since we both started at the Adventuring Academy. [ That part isn't too awkward yet. It's the next part. It definitely sounds like Fabian is having slight trouble breaching it, but then again, he does really trust Doreen. Maybe that's how he manages to say it after a second. ] .. I just didn't realize how attractive he was until some things happened here.

Lemme guess: was it one of those situations where you're hangin' out together, doing best friend things, and then suddenly there's a cool ocean breeze, and his hair is flowing in the wind, and then suddenly his shirt is open, and also there's saxophone music in the background, and you just go "OH DANG HE IS HANDSOME ACTUALLY"

[ she knows how these things go, Fabian! She has read so many romance novels! ]

[ ...

Fabian is so baffled about the scenario she's describing that he doesn't even have time to get awkward at the thought of just how bad Fabian's true realization about it was. Thankfully for him.

So he's quiet for a moment, and then speaks up, sounding clearly confused: ]

Did.. Did that ever happen before for you? [ Is this your experience with romance, Doreen?? ]

What, the 'shirt flying open and also his hair is flowing in the breeze with saxophone music' part, or the 'falling for your best friend' part?

[ it's important to clarify! ]

Nah, I've had pretty terrible luck with dating so far. But I think that getting together with your friend probably takes out a lot of the emotional guesswork! You already know you love and trust each other, right? So...

[ she trails off, thinking of her own best friend back home, and deep inside Doreen's brain, a tiny, bisexual-coloured lightbulb flickers on for the first time. Fabian might think the line has gone dead for a moment, given how long this awkward pause lasts. Oh boy, if she makes it out of Etraya, she's gonna have a lot to think about. ]

... Um. Y-yeah! Friends are great, and so is smooching! Good job!

[ There's another pause, but much slighter this time. Fabian is no longer baffled, after all. No, he has instead realized something, which makes the slight pause much more likely to just be for dramatic effect.

Especially as he says: ]

Doreen.

[ Uh oh. That tone. It's a knowing tone! ]

Do you have a crush on your friend?

[ HELP, SHE'S GETTING READ TO DEATH BY A COOL TEEN!!

it's a good thing is an audio call, because Doreen's tail has poofed up like an agitated cat, and would be taking up half the screen otherwise ]

W-weren't we talking about your crush on your friend? Your super cool tall boyfriend who you're currently dating?

Doreen, you have a big, fat crush on your friend!

[ Now he sounds so gleeful. Fabian already started sounding a little like that a moment ago, but it sure is getting intense now. Because her avoidance just makes him want to push a little bit harder, seeing a great chance for fun.

And, you know, a chance for Doreen to speak her mind! Why shouldn't she get to speak about her crush, huh? ]

Tell me everything about it! Who is it? I will have to keep an eye out so I can set you two up on a date if they ever arrive here! [ NO ESCAPE NOW!! ]

Ohhhhh my godddddd.

[ she groans, long and drawn-out! is this what it feels like to have Shipping Enthusiasm fired back at you? Is this what people feel like when she starts excitedly talking about open shirts and saxophone music?! ]

Yes, okay, fine! Her name is Nancy, she's my best friend and roomie back home, she's literally the coolest person I know, she likes knitting and cats and tattoos, and she takes no guff from anybody! She's the best!

[ Yup, the glee is definitely continuing. Look, maybe Fabian is just glad that he's apparently not the only person ever to realize way belatedly that he actually had a crush on a person he's been around for forever now.

Though he's definitely just teasing on purpose as he asks: ]

So, was there saxophone music? Was her shirt open? Any hair flowing in the wind, Doreen? [ Don't dish it if you can't take it, girl!!! ]

[ HELP, KARMA HAS COME FOR HER ASS ]

Auuuuuuuuugh. No! No to all of the above! And she keeps her hair super short, so it doesn't flow in the wind, although it'd look pretty cool if it did! We were assigned roomies at college, she had a pet kitten with her even though we weren't supposed to have pets, and she said "following an unjust rule is itself unjust" and it was super badass!

Oh gods.

[ He sounds surprised, but still gleeful at the same time. The surprise of discovering these new facts, and the glee of knowing you can immediately use them against someone else to tease them with.. ]

Are you telling me you started crushing on her because she broke a rule? [ No wonder Doreen likes the Bad Kids, huh. ]

She broke a rule for a good reason! [ No wonder, indeed! ] Her cat is the best! Later that day she literally squared up against a bank robber and sassed him to his face, even though he had a gun and it was really dangerous!

But that's enough about me, Mr. Turnabout! What made you start crushing on your dude!

[ Wait, why is Doreen turning it back on him? Is she just trying to escape his perfectly valid questions or what? ]

...

[ There's a pause, as if Fabian can't answer right away, and then all of a sudden-- ]

I can't tell you that.

[ Yes, yes she is! ]

Aw, what! Why not! I just told you all of my deets!

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