IC CONTACT

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ All-purpose contact post. Just specify whether you're getting in touch with Doreen or Squirrel Girl! ]

Comments

LOKIOFASGARD; audio

[ikols]

Squirrel Girl! Are you dead or alive?

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Alive! What's up, Loki? Did you think I was dead?

[ikols]

Yeah, I was a little worried for a hot second there! But I knew you could handle yourself. Check-ins ought to be mandatory in our line of business, that's all!

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Good point, good point! It's sweet of you to check in, but I'm rough'n'tough, you don't have to worry about me.

How about you? You doing ok?

[ikols]

I'm good. 'Bout to get up to some shenanigans, I won't lie to you.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Oh, yeah? What kind of shenanigans?

[ SUSPICIONS RISING... ]

[ikols]

The secret kind! Hey, don't like, listen to police radios for a day or two. Relax! Head to a spa, you totally deserve some self-care.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ SUSPICIONS CONFIRMED?! ]

Loki. Dude. I know we're pals, but you can't just tell me stuff like that and expect me not to do anything.

[ikols]

Ooo, maybe we'll run into each other if you're coming to hunt me down! That would be fun. We could get pumpkin spice lattes, yay!

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

What if we just skip the crimes and go straight to lattes? Or brunch? Hangouts are more fun than crimes, right?

[ikols]

Might just be a jaunty walk through a bank, we don't know yet. Nothing in life is set in stone!

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

'We'? Is this a group thing? Loki, if you're doing an Ocean's 11, I'm gonna be so mad because I love heists, but I don't love friends doing crimes!

C'mon, let's get brunch and have an arm-wrestling contest instead, huh?

[ikols]

Oh, what's that? The line is really choppy! I think you're breaking up! Bye! Love youuu!

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

DANGIT LOKI!!

LOKIOFASGARD; audio

[ikols]

Squirrel Girl!!!

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Loki!!

What's up? Tell me this isn't another 'I'ma rob a BANK' phone call, because if it is, I will rescind that brunch offer from earlier.

[ikols]

I like a boy and he doesn't want to date me.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Aw, I'm sorry. That's always tough. You handling it okay?

[ikols]

No! He's stupid! He should want me and then I could be the one to say Ooo, no, I'm too bad for you, and teach him a lesson or something, but instead he's just pleasant all the time and it's infuriatingly cute.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Oh it's the worst when they're cute and polite about it on top of everything else! That's just rude!

[ikols]

He's so oblivious.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

How straightforward was your approach? Did you straight up tell him "hello cute boy, I would like to date you"?

[ikols]

SG, please, I haven't told him anything.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Ok, but telling him would actually be a really good start? Speaking from past experience, the whole 'waiting for the cute guy to make the first move' strategy is pretty risky.

[ikols]

What's risky is potentially making a fool of myself when I know for a fact I am way too R-rated for him.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

R-rated, huh? Is this an age difference thing, or an 'I am such a badass' thing?

[ikols]

It's an "I'm definitely not a virgin but he is with every kind of gender in existence" sort of thing.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Dude, you haven't even started dating him yet, I think you're puttin' the cart before the horse here! Setting aside the whole outdated concept of virginity, the fact that you have more experience doesn't mean that you're in different... I dunno, Dating Leagues. You can still talk things out, you know?

[ HOW IS SHE THE ONE GIVING ADVICE ON THIS, SHE IS SO BAD AT DATING... ]

[ikols]

But, SG, I get the impression that sex is a big deal to him because he only just started dating guys back home, and I'm over here like the most feral sex god in existence feeling like a creep.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

That's why you talk to him! Open communication is very important for these sorts of things! You might have to slow your roll a bit, but look at it this way: you're like a zillion years old, you probably have more experience than most of the people here, are you gonna let that affect your dating prospects?

[ikols]

... You're right. I do have a zillion years experience. [ Not all of it is good, but. ] I'm going to march straight up to that boy, via text probably, and tell him I think he's cute.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Go for it! Talk to that boy! I believe in you!

Text

[atypical_echo]

Hey Doreen! Thanks for coffee the other day. Wanted to let you know I got to talking to someone during a gig, and they might want some help with someone who is good at websites. If you’re interested, here’s the contact info.

[Attached: Professional Contact Information for Jason Todd, Owner/Operator of Descendant]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Oh dude WHAT!! That would be amazing, seriously! Thank you! :D I'll message him ASAP!

FREELANCE PALS SOLIDARITY!

[atypical_echo]

Totally! I really loved the design of the place but I took SO many more pictures than would be needed. And I thought ‘well he could use them for the website’ because, you know, facebook based pages for businesses are miserable. So I thought of you, and asked if I could send his info to you.

I’ve got SO many picture. Not even kidding.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

man how big IS this place? It must be pretty swanky if you're that impressed!

and agreed, facebook pages are the worst, do not want

seriously though, thank you! I just wrapped up a job, and the next contract I had lined up bailed on me, so this timing is perfect :D

[atypical_echo]

It's less that it's big and swanky, and more that it's my vibe. It's just right.

I'm so glad. Hopefully you two can come to a deal. He was pretty fair with me on it. I might accidentally become a regular.

[A Christmas Gift]

[atypical_echo]

[Somehow he found wrapping paper with squirrels on it. She'll receive two boxes: one filled with what is labeled as 'squirrel feed mix', the other a mousepad. Except it's one of those mouse pads with the big gel wrist rest at the base. But it's clearly fanart-ish because the mousepad is Squirrel girl and the cushion is the tail.

Along with it all is a note: I couldn't believe it when I found this online. A squirrel-theme super heroine! Figured you or the little pals might wanna be fans!]

[A Christmas Gift]

[helpdesk_hero]

[Delivered to her home address is a package labeled 'from Alleyne'. Inside is a sweater. One is clearly for Doreen and there is a card with it for the fiber artist who knit it.

There is also a collection of ten little scarves in the same color, all of squirrel appropriate length.]

otto.octavius; back...dated....

[doctopoda]

Did I talk to you in a deli last week, or was that also a hallucination

[He's honestly sort of hoping it was, because that would be a lot easier for him to deal with, but! That'd be weird!]

PSH TIME IS RELATIVE

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

oH MY GOD

I'M SO SORRY YES THAT WAS A THING

[doctopoda]

Oh, god.

[THANKS HE HATES IT]

Sorry about that.

[like what do you even say in these circumstances???]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

no I'm sorry!! you don't have to apologize for anything, I panicked and tried to make you see CATS!!

[doctopoda]

Don't be hard on yourself. I don't know what I would've done in your shoes.

[Short of just grab her and try to carry her out. But that's not really a real option.]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ LOOK, SHE SERIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT ]

thanks for not asking me any philosophy questions anyway, then I REALLY would've panicked

[doctopoda]

[I'm not the one you had to worry about.

Rosie would have

He deletes it all without sending it.]

No philosophy. I'll keep that in mind.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

At least, not when I'm pretending to be a philosophy major as a cover story!

for real though, I didn't expect to see you in there and I kinda freaked, I'm sorry that whole thing happened. As confluences go, this one was awful. I won't ask if you're doing ok, but I hope you're sorta APPROACHING ok

[doctopoda]

[It takes him a little while to respond to that, but:]

I'll be fine.
Old wounds, after all.

[Nothing new. No matter how it feels now.]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ ok, he is definitely NOT fine, but Doreen at least recognizes that this is way out of her league! ]

This one really got a lot of people, huh.
Kinda wonder if there's a support group or something set up

[doctopoda]

We've all talked about setting one of those up a few different times. For various things.

[He's thinking about the ex-villain one.]

Never got off the ground, though.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

man, how come no THERAPISTS ever get zapped into this dimension

there's a heck of a lot of demand, I think everyone could probably use one

[doctopoda]

We must all come from universes without them.

[He's joking, obviously, but also have you seen the people here?]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

I think there's like... one guy back home who specializes in superhero therapy. But he basically has his hands full with The Hulk, which, to be fair, would be a full-time job.

[ the joking goes right over her head, mostly because her universe is, once again, super weird! ]

[doctopoda]

[Fair enough, because this joke goes entirely over his head!]

You have some rich superheroes, don't you? Like that Stark guy with the company?

[His knowledge about Iron Man is just very slightly more than what he knows about the Hulk.]

The field will probably expand if people think there's money in it.
Though if you ask me, that's not the real draw. It's how interesting everyone's problems would sound to a first-year psych student. We'd make some fascinating case studies.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Oh yeah, Tony! Man, it's WEIRD that you guys don't have a Tony.

[ Some people are just so larger than life that you expect them to show up in as many alternate dimensions as possible! ]

and IDK, people are just people when you get down to it, right? Everyone has the same basic wants and needs, sometimes big fights with laser-wielding bad guys or anthropomorphic hippos just get in the way.

[doctopoda]

The story's more interesting with a hippo in it!

Well, maybe the timelines are a little off. He could be in college somewhere and no one even knows yet.

[He doesn't know about the whole, you know, Stark Family History, but even so! It could still be something like that! Otto does wonder about these things; it seems strange that his world is so comparatively sparse on superheroes compared to all the other ones with Spider-Men and Doc Ocks. Given how recently it all began, he's thought that perhaps they were just the beginning of some great change.]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

oh, Hippo's a sweetheart! If he ever shows up here, I'll introduce you guys.

[ at this point it shouldn't be a surprise that she knows an anthropomorphic hippo! ]

oh my god that's even WEIRDER. COLLEGE TONY! Honestly, if that were the case I think he'd still be making headlines, dude's always been a mega-genius and he's never been quiet about it. But hey, maybe you guys just de-ice Captain America a couple decades later than usual, and things will go off from there!

[doctopoda]

Oh - that's the guy who they put a big round shield on the Statue of Liberty for, for some reason?
I saw that in the other universe.

[This is. Really all he's got on that one.]

What do you mean, de-ice him?

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

oh yeah, that sounds like him! I forgot you did some dimension-hopping before all this.

Dude was one of the first big superheroes, back in world war 2! He fell into the ocean sometime towards the end of the war and got frozen in a block of ice, and they didn't find him again 'til the 60s. Once he got thawed out, he went right back to doing his thing.

[ SUPERHERO COMICS, EVERYBODY ]

[doctopoda]

...that sounds like it would kill him, by my world's normal rules of operation.
But who knows? I'm still not sure how I'm not dead.

[Not even trying to be self-deprecating or something, just. Wow that was a lot of stuff that happened and then he just left the hospital and never got medical attention again! And then he got punched in the head a lot!]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ Sam Raimi works in mysterious ways! ]

IDK, people are pretty sturdy, especially if they're super-folks. Plus, death is kind of a revolving door in my world. People have come back from a lot of stuff.

[doctopoda]

We really don't have that.
But maybe one day?

[After everything Otto's seen, he's not about to rule it out. Even if, from what he's seen back home, the mortality rate for everyone but Spider-Man is about what you'd expect. Flint wasn't supposed to make it out either, and he actually had real powers.

But it sounds like that only really applies to metas anyway. If Otto ever died, actually really died, and then had to come back...god, what sort of a life is that?]

That's a little disconcerting, if I'm honest.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Yeah, I really don't get how it works. It might be one of those 'my universe is just super weird' things.

[ Doreen has almost died a few times, none of which she likes to think about, but she's never full-out died and then made a return trip... but she's been in the superhero scene long enough to know that comics are absolute nonsense people coming back isn't unheard of. ]

[doctopoda]

Could be.
From what I know - which isn't much - the medical technology here can pull off some pretty impressive resuscitations. But nothing like really bringing someone back.

[Maybe resuscitating someone whose heart had stopped is sort of like that, depending on where you stand? That's all a little too metaphysical for Otto, though. Even though the literal Realm of the Dead in this world opened up not that long ago, he's really just. Tried to not think about that one, honestly.]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

That doesn't surprise me, especially in Excelsior!

Apparently there's a guy here who looks like a golden Calvin Klein model and is super good at healing people, too

... although come to think of it, I think he's from my universe, that's another one chalked up to multiversal weirdness

[doctopoda]

Oh - yes, we spoke once! About my back issues, but there wasn't much he could do without a psychic and a technopath helping out, apparently. Too much of a mess in there.

[Back then, Otto had balked at the idea of having so many strangers doing something so invasive, especially when he's well aware that the slightest slip in the current equilibrium could kill him or worse. These days...well, he trusts David. The other pieces of that puzzle are more enigmatic.]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Man, I'm sorry they couldn't help out more!

... does he actually look like a golden Calvin Klein model though?? Loki's the one who mentioned him to me, and he has been known to exaggerate for dramatic effect

[doctopoda]

It was a professional setting.



But I can see it.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

You know what, fair, in retrospect that was a weird question to ask!